So, without further ado, here are some tips, tricks, and things to watch out for as you venture into the big and scary world of long-term relationships.
Getting Started
First, if you are looking for a strong, long-term relationship for the rest of your life, marriage, if you are interested, you need to make it clear to yourself. Stop being happy to be in a relationship, and really, don’t be with someone just for sex. If you are looking for a good long-term relationship, this is just a waste of time. (Of course, if you’re not looking for something long-term, then there’s no shame in sticking around for sex/fun, as long as you’re on the same page. More power to you.) Likewise, one-night stands will not get you anywhere – even if, by definition, they only stay for one night, you will not waste any time.
Time
What about when you are in a relationship that can last? Well, maybe his immediate concern is time. Maybe you are both busy. If you are lucky, you are busy and free at the same time. Otherwise, it will be really difficult. It’s important to understand your partner’s schedule and other commitments – it may be difficult for him to find time to spend a lazy day with you, and this should be fine with you. On the one hand, using their precious free time, they may not want you to be with them. They (and you) need time for themselves as well as time with their other friends and family. It may not give you as much time as you need, but sometimes it does.
Money
Money is, unsurprisingly, another big issue. For one, college is a bit of a financial fix, leaving many people in a similar financial situation while in college. The real world is not like that. What if your partner earns twice as much as you? One thing is that you can hold your money? Should you split joint purchases 50/50, or will the richer partner pay more? The latter may seem reasonable, but it can leave unlimited power to the wealthier of you both. You need to decide early on how to handle these types of financial situations. Just because you’re dating someone with the same income as you don’t mean you can’t care about it – you could be a promotion or two away from the extreme inequality.
Change
If you stick with someone long enough, you will see things change. You have to change; they will change if the relationship changes. You have to adjust for it. Sometimes these changes cause problems and mislead you. Sometimes inconsistency can be a problem, as your relationship becomes slow and frustrating, especially when you stop putting more effort into each other and start looking at things.
Live together
Finally, there is something that is, for most couples at least, the most important thing: living together. Unsurprisingly, there are many problems here. Are you in them, or else? Do you see something together? One important thing to consider is personal space. If you share a room together, it’s difficult, but few things can destroy a good relationship faster than the feeling that you can’t get away from each other. Last word, but not homework. Maybe I won’t explain the relationship problem.